


Big Spender

by The_Myth_Rider



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Ballroom Dancing, Byleth is Bond, Byleth wears a suit, Covert Operation, Dancing, Dorothea. Petra. and Ingrid are the Angels, Edeleth, Edelgard wears a suit, F/F, Femslash, First Dance, First Meetings, Girl Power, Girls In Suits, Love at First Sight, Mercedes is Bosley, Modern AU, Modern Era, Spies & Secret Agents, Suits, Swing Dancing, Who Run the World?, You're Welcome, basically a Charlie's Angels AU with a hint of James Bond for good measure, boom - Freeform, don’t die reading this plz, everyone is wearing a suit, girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 19:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21141986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Myth_Rider/pseuds/The_Myth_Rider
Summary: Edelgard hated going to her uncle's parties, he only ever brought her along to be shown off like some sick prize. She thought tonight was going to be just another boring party like all the overs before. Or, so she thought, until a mysterious woman walked in the joint.





	Big Spender

**Author's Note:**

> As the tags said, pretty much a James Bond/Charlie's Angels AU where poor El gets caught up in the middle. She'll forgive me, though, and you'll see why.

Edelgard hated parties.

Not so much because they themselves were distasteful or problematic for her, to be fair. It was only ever the damn _people_—the arrogant men and vapid women—who attended them. Edelgard ignored them all as she leaned her back against the bar, glazed eyes absently locked on the wine glass she swirled in her hand. Very few practical, productive matters were accomplished during the conversations that buzzed in the air around her.

It was time being wasted in the most ostentatious way she’d ever had to witness. Edelgard wouldn’t even be there if she didn’t have to be, and it angered her just why she needed to be. Her lavender gaze focused on her glass, before they shot up and quickly scanned the room. It didn’t take long to find her uncle, even surrounded as he was by his cohorts.

Edelgard struggled to keep from breaking the glass as her hand twitched and clenched, her loathing for the man peaking as she watched him laugh at whatever inane comment someone made. Though the sound of his laughter perhaps eased or pleased her uncle’s colleagues, for her, it made the scars hidden by her suit ache. The “etiquette lessons” he’d inflicted upon her were the only reason she was there, and why she bothered to deal with the man at all.

Though her expression remained mostly schooled in cool indifference, Edelgard couldn’t help the frustrated sigh through her nose as she took a sip.

“How are we holding up so far, Edie?”

Edelgard glanced over her shoulder at the familiar voice, and her expression softened as she met the bartender’s eyes. It was Dorothea, the lovely woman giving her a bright smile as she leaned her arms on the bar between them. Before she could answer, a loud laugh distracted Edelgard as she looked back and frowned. Her uncle had apparently said something quite hilarious, as the buffoons about him guffawed hard enough to make a donkey cringe.

Edelgard all but growled as she closed her eyes and drained the last of her wine glass.

She heard Dorothea giggle softly behind her.

“Ah, I see, that rough already now, is it?”

Edelgard turned around and set the empty glass down as she rubbed her temples.

“I swear, I don’t even know why he insists I attend these. I neither know nor care what these people blather on about, and uncle probably wouldn’t permit me to as it is. Am I just here to be showed off? Like some sick prize, is that it?”

“If I could just get away from him…”

As if talking about him summoned it, her scars ached again, and Edelgard pursed her lips as she rubbed at her arms. Her friend caught the motion, and the bartender had to fight the urge to reach out. Dorothea sighed and pursed her lips, and Edelgard was too focused on her encroaching headache to notice how the woman discreetly scanned the ballroom.

“Maybe when the dancing starts up in a few, you could find some dashing figure to get your mind off of things? There ought to be _some_ fun you can eek out of this.”

Edelgard didn’t bother to subdue the glower she sent to her friend, who simply returned a cheeky smirk. She couldn’t imagine what sort of man could possibly be so dashing as to convince her to dance. She sighed and lowered her arms onto the bar, then absently waved one hand toward the rack behind Dorothea.

“If this is your only solution, then by all means, entice me further, Dorothea.”

With a shining grin and a flourish, the bartender got Edelgard a new—and blessedly stronger—drink into her hands. She took her time and nursed this one, and allowed the drink to settle her mind and nerves. She never cared for being drunk, the thought of having less control over her faculties being somewhat unsettling. But Edelgard knew she’d need _something_ to calm herself down, and this was all that was available.

After several minutes had passed—mayhap an hour, during which Edelgard had shed her jacket—a new influx of movement throughout the ballroom caught Edelgard’s attention. She glanced over her shoulder to see the band were in their raised dais in the corner, and had begun to prepare for their set. The partygoers stirred in excitement at the prospect at dancing, though Edelgard wasn’t quite so enthusiastic about it. Dorothea might’ve had a decent idea, what with her proposition for Edelgard to let herself get swept off her feet, but…

Who could possibly be a match for Edelgard?

Suddenly, to everyone’s confusion and excitement, the lights every dimmed down. The murmuring grew louder as the partygoers theorized what possible scheme could be in play. Edelgard quirked her mouth, unamused, and searched for her uncle in the shadows. She frowned, however, when she noticed he seemed equally as lost as everyone else.

She absently heard Dorothea whisper from behind.

“And three…two…one.”

In a single moment’s time, bright spotlights shone light atop the grand staircase across the room and revealed a strange newcomer, and the band burst into song. Their trumpets immediately jazzed up the crowd with a bombastic riff as they watched in awe. The mysterious woman in a cobalt suit strutted down the stairs, and looked for all the world to Edelgard like some contemporary nobleman. She brandished an ornate, sword-like cane, twirled in a black gloved hand, and it all but mesmerized Edelgard.

Or maybe it did, because she hardly noticed that the newcomer approached _her_. In sync with the next riff of the trumpets, the woman collapsed her cane and swung it into a sheath on her back, and bowed as she gently took one of Edelgard’s hands and, blues locked on her lavenders, pressed a chaste kiss to her skin. Lesser men had been verbally throttled by her for far less, but in that moment Edelgard could hardly breathe.

The trumpeters’ spectacular start was joined by the rest of the band, and their jazz routine went into full swing. The mystery woman kept her grip on Edelgard’s hand, her eyes never leaving hers, and gently pulled her out onto the dance floor. A part of Edelgard warned against this, the logical side that didn’t know this woman and didn’t want to be the center of attention. But there was something in her gait, in how she held herself, in her eyes…

…in the way the woman had strode through a vast crowd of people, and out of all of them, chose Edelgard.

The path to the middle of the dance floor seemed an ethereal eternity, during which Edelgard had yet to pry her eyes away from the stranger’s. As they came to a stop, Edelgard frowned and opened her mouth to say something. But before she could, the woman tripped her up and let her fall back, hand still gripping hers, as a songstresses’ voice sung out.

“_The minute you walked in the joint–_”

A smirk broke out on the woman’s face as she pulled Edelgard back up, and guided her into a brief swirl. The stop to the spin was abrupt, as Edelgard found her face mere inches from hers, and felt her leg pulled up the woman’s side by a hand. Edelgard could feel the flush in her cheeks at the nearness, but somehow, she still felt no urge to pull away. The energy about them was now charged beyond measure, and she found herself enthralled in the moment.

Edelgard had never been one for dancing, though she’d had some degree of training in more classic maneuvers. But as the mystery woman led her into a dance to the band’s performance, whatever style of dance it was had no familiarity to anything Edelgard had learned. To her surprise, she found her body move of its own accord, easily able to follow the woman’s lead.

Though to the stranger’s credit, she had a masterful grasp on leading a partner, and the sheer force of her presence had Edelgard temporarily unable to put up a defense.

The intensity of both the song and the routine this woman led her through drastically increased in the span of a mere minute-and-a-half. Their movements were sharp and smooth all at once, the woman seemingly very familiar with the song being played. Every gesture, each step, all of their motions were either in time with the music, or matched its building energy beat for beat. If it wasn’t for her own ignorance and surprise at all of it, Edelgard would think that this was all thoroughly choreographed.

But she’d never seen this woman before in her life.

Edelgard’s confidence and comfort with the dance grew with it, as she quickly caught up with the woman and was soon matching her passion. So it was with little shock or fear that, as the woman made to pull her close and swing Edelgard around her, she hardly blinked as she all but rappelled about the woman. Twice around the woman’s waist, and once over her shoulders. The blush that had faded before returned with a vengeance as the stranger’s strength became blatantly apparent as she sent Edelgard around her three times, in sync with the singer’s musical questioning for having fun.

As the singer asked for a few laughs twice, the woman held Edelgard by the hips as she lifted her up into basic twirls. On the second twirl, however, Edelgard felt bold and let her legs fan out with the motion while she was in the air. The impressed and satisfied gleam in the woman’s blues was all the reward she needed.

The singer’s words as well as Edelgard’s own successes further emboldened her as she took a gamble.

“_I could show you a good time._”

Edelgard swiped the woman’s cane from its sheath, then gripped the lapels of the woman’s open jacket and pushed it off of her shoulders. Shocked, the woman could only widen her eyes as she let the article slide off of her arms. Edelgard couldn’t help the growing smirk that teased at her lips, the tables now turned to her favor. She extended the cane to its full length, and smoothly took the woman’s hands and clasped them about its top.

The woman raised an eyebrow at her, which only let Edelgard’s smirk widen as she reached out with both hands to grip the woman’s tie.

“_Let me show you a good time._”

As soon as the woman’s last word rang out, and the music burst into a spike of trumpet and drum, Edelgard tugged hard on the tie and brought the woman falling forward.

Either in expectation of her scheme, or sheer instinct, the woman made use of the cane Edelgard had put into her hands and, with only one hand to grip it, used the cane to ease her fall into a precarious plank. The jacket now shed, Edelgard could almost see the strain of the woman’s strong back and arms as she pushed off of the floor with the cane, and staggered back into a stand. Her blue eyes were wide with shock, mouth parted as she panted, and eyebrows disappeared into sweat-matted bangs.

Though now calm and confident with the tide in her favor, Edelgard’s blush was now damn near permanent at the sight.

Now on equal ground with her mysterious dance partner, Edelgard made her move, and sauntered up to the woman. Still stunned by the sudden and fierce show, the woman could only stagger back as Edelgard took the lead. This shift in the tide lasted for only a few seconds as the woman regained her bearings, her eyes narrowed as she tilted her head. Edelgard simply maintained her smirk, and raised one eyebrow back to her.

As the music stilled for a moment, the trumpets, drums, and bass quiet as the guitar held its rhythm with only the drum’s bass piece to keep the beat, their duel reignited. Hands gripped tight on each other’s they fought and twirled, their arms swinging to and fro as dominance was struggled for. But their hands never lost hold of one another, until they finally came back around, face to face. Full smiles broke out on both of their lips as they, for one lovely but brief eternity, stared at one another.

“_The minute you walked in the joint–_”

They released each other’s hands as they both swept to opposite sides, arms swung out and foots slammed down, their backs to each other, all in tune with the beat. They then pushed back against each other, and Edelgard felt gooseflesh and fire soar across her skin as they all but grinded their backs and shoulders against one another. She turned her head to the side, her grin impossibly wider as she saw the woman do the same, and their eyes met out of the corners.

Their dance continued, but it was not the same; arguably, it was far better. Whereas the mystery woman had entirely been in control in the beginning, while Edelgard’s guard was shattered, that was no more. After her own show of force before, and then their duel, now they were pure and unbridled equals. As they rode out the last minute of the song together, eyes never leaving the others unless there was another twirl, Edelgard had never felt so alive before.

Here, in this dance, in this moment, they were equals in every way, conceivable or otherwise.

It was a good thing, then, that she had long since forgotten the rest of the world existed. All of her attention and senses had shrunk to nothing but the mystery woman. Edelgard never noticed the shocked awe of the crowd that had given up dancing their own dances to watch the spectacular show before them. Because their dance had so enraptured the crowd, Mr. Arundel included, no one noticed the dark-skinned woman and a one Dorothea, both in a butler’s suit, as they strode through them all.

And nobody, least of all Arundel, noticed how they bugged his and several others’ coats with odd but undetectable devices.

As the singer’s final note rang out, and the band’s last flourish went with it, the two dance partners had finished with a final coordinated twirl as they came to a stop.

Edelgard panted hard, and she could feel her hair stick to sweat-soaked skin. Her partner wasn’t any better off, though her dark teal hair made it less obvious on her part. She had a feeling that their white shirts were sweat marred as well; their dance had been far from mild, after all. But a part of Edelgard delighted at how their vests seemed to match; her crimson vest, and her partner’s teal. They stayed there for a few precious moments, hands still clasped with the others, eyes still locked on each other.

Edelgard thought she should speak, but…what words could possibly follow what had just happened?

Before she could process anything else, angry shouting startled her out of their reverie. Edelgard turned her head to look, and saw armed men struggle to push through the crowd. She recognized them as her uncle’s, and sharp, unwelcome fear invaded her previous elated state. They seemed to be trying to get to…them?

Edelgard felt a tight grip on her shoulders, and she looked back to the woman who looked suddenly so serious.

“Come with me.”

Something about the woman’s voice cut through Edelgard’s fear, and something about the intense but almost hopeful look in her blue eyes helped her reign herself in.

“All right…”

The woman nodded, then took a moment to retrieve her cane and jacket, before she took Edelgard’s hand and pulled her away. Edelgard let herself be pulled, and followed her as they made a beeline for a seemingly random side door. Except it wasn’t random, it seemed, as a strange blonde dressed alike to them but with a full body holster overtop her dress shirt, her suit jacket tied by the sleeves about her waist. She guarded the door they ran for, and gave the original mystery woman a smile and a nod as they passed through.

They ran through the halls with reckless abandon, the strange blonde hot on their heels with them. As they ran through the vast complex, a dark-skinned woman joined them, her violet hair pulled into a ponytail and a…was that a stun baton in her hands? As with the blonde, a familiar and smiling nod to Edelgard’s dance partner, who still led them through the building.

Finally, they reached a pair of double doors that the two new women rushed ahead and bust open so that Edelgard and the first woman could simply barrel through. They’d reached the garage, dozens upon dozens of ostentatiously expensive cars lined the expansive space. Edelgard couldn’t fathom was vehicle these strange women could’ve possibly come in with. Well, until the roar of an engine brought everyone’s attention to the black Camaro that sped up to them before it screeched to a stop.

The passenger door that face them was pushed open before it had even come to a complete stop, and another woman with long pale hair leaped out and immediately scanned the group.

“Is anyone hurt?”

Edelgard’s partner shook her head as she gently guided her to the car.

“No, we’re all fine, but we need to leave. Everyone! Pile in!”

The third woman turned and pushed her passenger seat forward, and crawled her way into the back seat. The blonde they first encountered quickly followed, as did the darker woman. Once they were all in the backseat, the mystery woman pushed the passenger seat back and got in. Edelgard hesitated at first, since all of the seats were clearly taken. But then her partner used the power seating to push her seat lower, then reached out a hand to Edelgard.

Her eyes were wide and hopeful, and oddly sweeter than they’d been since the dance hard started.

“Do you trust me?”

The once proud voice sounded startlingly vulnerable as she asked that question, and what little hesitation Edelgard maintained after the dance was gone.

“Yes.”

The smile she received was, as with the gleam in her partner’s eye before, an excellent reward. Edelgard took her hand and let herself be pulled into the woman’s lap. For once she was grateful for her small stature, as that coupled with the lowered seat just allowed them both to fit. The woman reached out and pulled the long door of the Camaro in, and the driver had stepped on the gas before it had even closed.

Edelgard closed her eyes and clung to the woman who’d gone from a stranger that had appeared out of nowhere, to the woman who had somehow spirited her away from her uncle’s grasp. Even though she was an absolute mystery, somehow, some way, Edelgard felt safer there in her lap, with those strong arms keeping her close, than the past several years of her life. She didn’t even care that she was completely lost on what was happening, if her dance partner was there, it ought to be fine.

“Well, that was quite the show you two put on in there! Made things so much easier for me and Petra, that’s for sure. But hot damn, was that routine of yours intense.”

Edelgard’s eyes shot open as she sharply glanced up at the driver.

“Dorothea?!”

Her friend, still in her bartender’s uniform, simply smirked and gave her a quick wink.

“Questions came come later, my dear Edie, but first! Introductions!”

She jabbed a thumb at the back seat.

“Meet Mercedes, Ingrid, and Petra!”

Edelgard glanced at the back seat, and saw each woman raise a hand to wave as they repeated their own names for clarification. Mercedes was the pale blonde who’d asked after everyone’s wellbeing, Ingrid the brighter blonde who’d met them at the door, and Petra the violet-haired one who’d appeared out of nowhere. Edelgard raised an eyebrow as she tentatively waved back, then glared back at Dorothea.

Her friend hadn’t lost her smirk, and instead cheekily pointed at the original mystery woman.

“And your dance partner, there, is Byleth.”

…that got her attention away from her annoyance at Dorothea’s secrets. She leaned up a little to get a better look at this Byleth, and was surprised to see an almost _sheepish_ look on her face. Edelgard pursed her lips as they stared at each other for a moment, less intense than before, more…more searching, tentative, and awfully tender. Rather than potentially ruin the moment by making a fool of herself in front of all these women, Edelgard simply returned to Byleth’s embrace. She curled tight against the strong chest, and could almost sigh as she nuzzled against her neck and felt a chin gently rest on her head.

“Thank you…” Edelgard whispered, so softly that she knew only Byleth would hear.

She felt those arms curl around her tighter, and for all the world, they were alone in the car.

“You’re very welcome.”

Maybe parties weren’t so bad after all…

**Author's Note:**

> You're welcome.
> 
> And yes, I do indeed have an entire routine choreographed to that song in my head. My words cannot fully match the intense sexiness of what I imagine, but hopefully I did well enough that you guys got even a hint of what I can see. Maybe one day the routine will be actually performed, and you guys and understand why I needed to write this so badly.


End file.
